Sanctuary

Rua sat by the small girl's bedside wiping sweat from her brow with a cold wet cloth. The child moaned and opened weary eyes.

"Mammy? Why can't I go play?"

Rua looked outside at the night darkened window and smiled as she took hold of her youngest daughter's hand.

"Hush now. You'll be better in the morning. You can go play then."

"Okay." Amáraiga just looked up at her like she was only half there. She was over the worst of it, the fever was breaking, and Rua was immensely relieved. She kissed the child on the head and told her to go asleep, not realising they were being watched from the doorway.

"She okay?"

Rua nodded to Ruairí where he stood in the doorway. "She will be. Are you okay?"

He shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Just checking."

Ruairí frowned, chewing his lip and not budging from where he stood. "I thought you were going to..." He closed his eyes, willing the name out. "Sammarix. For Lions parliament."

"I'm sure it can run just as smoothly without me for now." She smiled at him, then looked back on Amáraiga who had drifted back into sleep. "I'll go in the morning." She patted the empty bed beside her. "Sit and talk with me a while?"

Ruairí accepted the invitation with a grin.

Rua awoke with a start. Sammarix was cold and if truth be known (which to everyone else it certainly wasn't), she was feeling just a little under the weather. She could almost hear Tirahn berating her for it. It brought a smile that quickly disappeared. Yesterday had been so very long. No sooner had Ruairí been put to bed, but it all began. Joshrim, the Unliving masses over Amnor, Chareos.

She still couldn't believe it. It was all a dim blur. Somewhere amongst the attacks and the panic and the rapid return to the military structure so deeply ingrained in them all came word that Chareos was dead. Rua supposed in a way she didn't actually believe it. She went next morning with Alvar and Mactire to the Lions Parliament. She listened to them tell of their troubles, listened to them say how they could not help Armengar right when they were needed most, she fought alongside them against Nosta Kar and Pod people. She stood in their ritual circle and contributed her power so the healers amongst them could be recharged. She listened to Scullion tell them how much trouble they were in. And she fought the Unliving with them. Never a sign of Chareos, but still she couldn't believe it.

Not until she saw the letter. When he said that ex-military like herself should be requested to return, she had laughed to herself. Like he even needed to ask. Only when his words said that he would return did she begin to accept that he would not. And she ached inside ever since.

Rua got up slowly. It was cold outside, bitter cold inside. Liesha was enthusiastic to get going again. Rua didn't doubt she felt Chareos' loss too, but it wasn't the same for the older citizens, was it? They were already grown when the Farseekers arrived. She was a child. It made them seem so much larger than life. The thing about Chareos was it never went away even as she got older.

"Rua? Are we going back to Parliament?"

Rua realised she had been standing looking out at the morning stars only barely covered from the cold. She sighed. "Give me a minute to get dressed." She looked at the mace and dagger in the corner of the tent. "And armed."

It hadn't taken long. At least it didn't seem that way. Everyone knew the big fight with the Nosta Kar was coming. It was so easy. Rua slipped back into following orders and fighting on the battle lines like she'd been doing it all her life. Until she'd get hit and realise how weak her body had become. But she fought on and when they called for people to follow and defend the ritual circle, she was there. Next thing she knew, she and Mactire were alone, outnumbered, and bleeding. The thought seemed slow as treacle. I can't die yet... I haven't even...

"Now that wasn't very smart, child, was it?"

Rua quickly looked around her. The forest was exactly as it should be – except devoid of the sounds of fighting and smell of blood. She looked down at her chest. It was bleeding freely. And so were Mactire's wounds. She stepped towards him but a hand stopped her.

"Nothing you can do for him but hope someone saw your foolhardiness and can get to you both in time. What were you thinking? You're not his bodyguard anymore."

"It was never about being his bodyguard..." Rua shook her hand off and turned around. "Who are you anyway..." Her voice trailed off as she looked at the lady. Hair even redder than her own and a body that might have blown away in the slightest breeze. "You again."

"Yes. And what will you tell yourself this time? Blood loss is making you delirious?"

"What other explanation is there?"

The lady smiled. "It's not important. What matters is that you listen to me this time, Rua Ní Dhiarmuid."

"Don't call me that."

The lady sighed. She pushed one of Mactire's arms down to the ground to make a more comfortable seat of him. She looked down the path with a frown. When Rua looked after her, she saw nothing but trees, heard nothing but birdsong. "You're in luck. They've seen you. You'll be healed up soon – wasting valuable healing resources I might add!"

"So what is it then? What is it you want from me?"

The lady came forward and touched a strand of Rua's hair. "What is it you want from yourself, Rua Ní Dhiarmuid?"

"I said don't call me that!"

Everything turned black. Next thing she heard was Simon's voice calling for a healer for her. Groggily she thanked the incantor that helped her and looked around for Mactire. He too was now inside the ritual circle and coming round from his injuries. Behind them Giblet – the Red Cap they had foolishly gone racing after alone, was taking a little longer to heal up. Mactire turned to her.

"See? It was the right decision."

She stood. "Bringing more people would have been a better one." Rua walked out of the circle, leaning on the wall for support only when she was out of sight of him.

Rua didn't rest for long. The battle continued to rage around her and this time she forced herself to be more careful. She put the delirium induced visions from her mind and fought until the cheering began as someone held up high the head of the Nosta Kar leader. Before long the Red Caps were feeding and Rua turned away. She caught up with Liesha and returned to camp.

It was later in the day when wounds were all healed and the actual business of Parliament had taken place. Rua looked up from the ritual circle to the cloud forming overhead and willed it with everything she had inside her to swell and grow and move to where it would wash Orlagnon with its holy rains that might destroy the Unliving on that isle. She had been prepared to give her all for this ritual anyway but when she spoke with Lemming on the way about how the same might benefit Armengar... it didn't seem likely that if this cloud succeeded in cleansing Orlagnon that enough power would remain to bring it to Amnor, but he was willing to try! The entire ritual team were prepared to try. It made her want to cry because she'd been upset that the Lions were turning from them the first time they really needed their help – oh she knew and fully understood the reasoning (and even had to admit they were right), but reason rarely mattered to the gut. Of course they wanted to help. They were even prepared to risk sapping power from their objective in this ritual to help Amnor. It was the most intense of rituals she'd ever been involved in. She spoke of Amnor and the strength and courage of her people and Cildara was beside her, seconding her words. She felt the power surge and, caught in the element of air they had called, it soared skywards. The cloud hung overhead and their chanting eventually died. They could only hope it was enough.

Parliament came to an end with a decision to fight the first campaign of Spring on Tamarus. There was so much for everyone to do. So many orders to send and situations to return to. Rua had one stop to make on Holy Isle before returning to Armengar.

Bláithín's eyes lit when the knock came on the door and she was out of her seat running towards it before anyone could stop her. Fortunately Tirahn was closer to the door and managed to get there first.

"Just a minute, Blaithín. We don't know who it is yet."

"It's her!"

Creathna chuckled as she got from the table to fetch the evening meal now that their final guest had arrived.

"Just stay there a second." Tirahn pointed Blaithín to her spot behind the door, leaving no room for arguing. He had no doubt as to the identity of the visitor either but he wasn't about to let Rua see them as being anything less than paranoid about her child's safety. He opened the door and grinned. "Rua. How good to-"

"Mammy!" Blaithín shot past him right into her mother's arms.

Rua was straight down on her knees to hug Blaithín fiercely. It felt so good to hold her again, like the dull ache that usually hung around her heart was for the moment gone. She kissed her a few times before holding her head in her hands.

"How are you? Are you being good?"

"Yes!" Blaithín answered like there could be no doubt about it.

"Good as gold." Creathna came over to the still opened door. "Come inside out of the cold you two."

With the greatest of ease, Rua lifted her daughter and walked inside the warm house filled with smiling faces. Creathna's husband Graig pulled out a chair for her at the table just as she set Blaithín back on her own feet. Their children Pete and Ania were all smiles and said hello as politely as they could muster before going to help their mother. Tirahn closed the door, then frowned at the sight of Rua's cloak as his glance caught the back of it. Two long slashes ran across it. The black cloak didn't show it but through the slits he could see the dried blood on her other clothing.

"How's Ruairí? And Daddy? And Amáraiga and Carraig? Have you seen Fiach?"

Rua laughed. "Everyone's fine. They all miss you."

Tirahn went over to the kitchen where Creathna was fussing with pots and plates. He spoke to her in a whisper. Her grin turned to a look of concern as she cast a glance over at Rua and Blaithín and the way Rua was being very careful to keep her cloak around her. She nodded at once and whispered back some instructions before giving him the bundle of plates. They returned to the table.

Creathna put a hand on Rua's shoulder. "Dinner will be another minute or two if you want to freshen up first. Tirahn will sort you out for whatever you need."

Surprised but grateful eyes looked up at her. "I don't want to put you out more than I already have-"

"Don't be silly, dear. Go on now."

"Thank you."

As soon as Rua stood, Blaithín was also on her feet but Creathna quickly co-opted her to the kitchen. "Blaithín dear, come help me with the vegetables."

"But-" Her eyes darted up to Rua.

"Go on now, mo stoirín. I'll be back in just a minute and you can tell me everything."

Her shoulders fells in a huge sigh but Blaithín did as she was told and followed Creathna to the kitchen. Tirahn led Rua up the stairs and waited until they were out of earshot.

"What happened to you?"

"There was a lot of fighting going on. Thanks. I wasn't sure how I could hide it from her. There's enough I have to tell her."

He pointed into the master bedroom. "You can clean up in there. Should be water in the stand. Creathna said you should be able to find something to wear in that chest there." He grinned. "Her old clothes back from the days before she was married. Won't fit her anymore but she hangs onto everything."

"Thank you." Rua stepped inside the room and closed the door. Despite the door being closed, Tirahn still turned his back to it but stayed where he was, speaking through the thin wood.

"I thought you didn't fight?"

"I left the military. There's a difference. At least there was."

He frowned.

"What do you mean?"

Clothes fell to the floor and he could hear water being poured into a basin. "I'll explain later. Somehow I'm going to have to explain it to Blaithín. It can wait until after dinner."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, Tirahn. Some of the best healers in Lantia were there."

"I thought Parliament was supposed to be about talking?"

The chest creaked as it was opened. "You're not the only one. Wow."

"What?"

"There's some beautiful clothes in here."

Tirahn chuckled. "Creathna was always very fussy about her appearance when we were kids. And Mom loved seeing her dressed up. It's rather amusing now to watch her with Ania."

The chest closed and after a moment or two the door opened. Rua stood dressed in the simplest shirt and skirt she could find, her own bloodied clothes wrapped in a bundle. Her face was clean and her hair had been quickly tied back.

"It's good to be in clean clothes again."

Tirahn had to quickly think of something to say. "You realise Creathna is about to hate you."

Rua looked shocked and was already turning back to the chest. "Why? Should I not have taken-"

He took her arm laughing. "No, no. You're fine. I mean she's going to hate you for being able to fit into that after having four children. Come on, they'll be waiting for us."

Dinner passed pleasantly and peacefully and Rua could feel herself wanting to fall asleep in the heat from the fire, but there was still much to do. Creathna's children were soon helping with clearing the table while Graig lit up a pipe and began to talk business affairs with Tirahn. Blaithín took Rua by the hand.

"Come on. I'll show you my room. I've got one all to myself!"

Rua followed and closed the door carefully behind her. She waited for Blaithín to show her everything she wanted until exhausted from the evening's excitement, Blaithín sat down on the bed beside her.

"It's nice here and Creathna and Graig and Pete and Ania are all really nice but... I miss you and I miss home." She reached over to the small dressing table and picked up the hairbrush. She gave it to Rua. "Do my hair?"

Rua took the brush and sat Blaithín in front of her. She loosened the crooked plaits Blaithín had done herself earlier that day and began to brush the red locks down.

"There's something I have to talk to you about, Blaithín. You're growing up so fast – you're old enough to hear it and you will hear it soon enough, anyway."

"Is it that thing you keep saying you'll tell about when I'm older?"

Rua smiled. "No... but that is something we'll have to talk about soon. But not tonight. I'm afraid I have to tell you some bad news."

Blaithín looked around at her, suddenly worried. "You said everyone's alright."

"And everyone is." She kissed her head. Chareos. "Your father and the others are fine. Amáraiga was sick but she's going to be just fine." She went back to combing out Blaithín's hair. "Some bad things have happened in Armengar. Bad enough that I had to join the military again."

Blaithín gasped. "You're going to fight? Why?" Her hair forgotten, she turned right around and came up onto her knees. "Why? Are the Calebii back?"

Oh so much worse. Rua tried to hide her reaction. "Not the Calebii. You see a long time ago there was an Emperor. He wasn't a good man. It was this Emperor – Joshrim – that built Armengar."

The girl's eyes widened.

"Now he wants it back."

"But it's ours now! It's always been ours! We're not going to give it back, are we?"

"No. Absolutely not. But he's got big armies and he's going to try take it back."

Blaithin's eyes couldn't get much wider. They blinked. Rua took her face squarely in both her hands.

"Listen to me. He's not going to win. It's our home and if there's one thing we know it's how to defend it."

"But people always die!"

Rua held Blaithín to her. "Fraoch and everyone else will do their very best to try stop that happening."

"But you can't go fight! You got hurt last time! The Calebii hurt you really bad! Mammy don't go home, stay here with me!"

"Blaithín, you have to calm down." Rua was beginning to wonder had she overestimated Blaithin's capacity for this news... but she would have to hear it sooner or later. At least by telling her now Rua could be sure it was she that told her. "Hey." She went in search of Blaithin's face and found it under matted curls. "Do you really think your Daddy will let anything bad happen to me?"

"He couldn't stop it last time."

"But he did. I'm still alive."

Blaithín shook herself from Rua's grasp. "You cried for days. Daddy wouldn't let us see you but me and Ruairí snuck in sometimes anyway. But you just cried and cried and we couldn't stop you."

Rua sat back, white faced. She tried to remember back but... some things were still too painful. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I lost something in that fight – something I was very very sad to lose." She forced herself to smile. "So sad I forgot how much I still had. But only for a little while. Believe it or not, it was you and Ruairí, and Amáraiga and Carraig and your Daddy that stopped me crying."

Blaithín was still shaking her head. "Don't go back." She got an idea that suddenly excited her. "We could all move here! There's lots of trees for Amáraiga to play in and Ruairí would be the best warrior in the whole school! And you wouldn't have to keep travelling through the circles every time you want to see Samuel. And we could live in that house by the sea!" She closed one eye. "Or maybe a bigger one so I can have my own room. Can we, Mammy?!"

She was so excited, it was breaking Rua's heart to have to break hers. But as wonderful as it all sounded – and the thought had certainly crossed her mind before now – it was not something that could ever happen. "Blaithín, mo stoirín, Armengar is our home. There's no army in the world better at fighting for their home than us. It's going to be okay." She smiled. "If it makes you feel any better, I won't be out in the big fights this time. I have to take care of the ritual circle now and that's well inside the citadel away from the armies so I'm going to be just fine." Blaithin's smile of relief was worth the lie. Though no doubt when Blaithín did grow up to realise how much more dangerous the circle was, she'd have it thrown right back in her face. But for now it was worth it.

"Really? Chareos won't make you go out and fight?"

Rua bit her lip. She didn't want to tell her. She couldn't. Not now. "Honey, Fraoch is Protector now." Then quickly she added, "And if you were Fraoch would you make your best ritualist go out and fight and leave no one to mind the circles?"

Blaithín blinked away the tears and smiled. "No. Really?"

"Really."

Then her face fell. "What about Daddy?"

"Hey." Rua squeezed her and winked. "Do you really think I'm going to let anything bad happen to your Daddy?"

Blaithín smiled at her. "No."

"There you go. So everything's going to be alright and you're not to worry, okay? It means I'm not sure when I can come see you again but I will just as soon as it's possible." Rua picked the brush back up and turned her around. "Now it's about time you got ready for bed. How about a story?"

Blaithín nodded. "The first time you went to the Gathering! The big ritual!"

Rua laughed. "You got it."

Tirahn was speechless. Once Blaithín fell asleep Rua said her goodbyes and thank yous to Creathna and Graig and walked with Tirahn back to the circle. She had just finished telling him everything about the trouble Amnor was facing, and who they were facing it without. It was difficult to believe that a world fighting to come to terms with peace was thrown so rapidly back into war again. It wasn't going to be easy on Blaithín, not knowing how her family were doing. His brow creased.

"What about your other children, Rua? You should send them here too. Creathna won't mind."

Rua walked with arms folded around her bundle. "Thank you. Mactire and I have been making preparations to move all the children too young to fight here but I don't think Fraoch will go ahead with it just yet."

Tirahn stopped, not able to believe what he was hearing. "Why not? He has children too, doesn't he? They'd be safe!"

Rua looked to him with patience. "Yes he does. And to an Armengarian parent there's nowhere safer than the citadel. It's a sensitive point. Leave it alone."

Tirahn scratched his head. "Fine. But you send your children."

"I can't do that. Leaving Blaithín here is one thing, but the High Ritualist sending her children off to safety and leaving all the others? You've got to see how that would look."

"Damn how it looks, Rua!"

"Hey." Her face grew stern. "They're my children. I'm not about to put them in jeopardy. The fact is, the citadel is safe for them right now. If that changes, we have everything we need in place to move them. Until such time, like every other parent there I'll be happier with them where I can see them. And it does matter. Our people act as one during times of war. Fraoch will make the right decision." She smiled. "His listening skills have been improving a lot lately. It's going to be okay."

He sighed. "Are you back in the military? Is that what you meant earlier?"

She nodded. "Unfortunately so. A state of war hadn't been declared when I left for Parliament but there's no doubt at all it has been since then. That means the Protector has authority over everything."

They resumed walking a while. "I'm feeling somewhat useless here. I wish I could say or do something..."

Next thing he felt was her arm slipping into his. "Tirahn. As long as I know you're here looking out for Blaithín, I don't have to worry about her so much. You're doing much more than you know."

"I'm glad. I suspect you're going to be very busy."

"You're not wrong."

He peered closer at her. "Which means you should probably start taking better care of yourself. You've looked better, Rua."

"I've been fighting one thing or another all weekend. I haven't had much sleep."

"Exactly my point."

She sighed. "The Calebii never waited for us to have our afternoon nap before attacking. Seems to be something all the bad things out there have in common."

He looked at her a long moment. "Those cuts in your cloak, Rua-"

"Drop it." She released her hold on him. "Please. I don't want to talk about it."

They arrived at the circle. This was as far as he could go without answering questions from the circle guard. He took her hand and looked into her eyes. "If you change your mind."

"I know. Thank you. It's fine, really." Rua smiled, then reclaimed her hand. "I have to go."

"You will be careful won't you?"

She shrugged. "I always do my best. Goodnight Tirahn."

"Goodnight Rua."

They hugged and he watched her walk away. She was going home to war and it terrified him he might never see her again.